interview with god
darth: let's get right into it. thanks for being here...thanks for being everywhere...today.
god: happy to share time with you. it's an honor to be here.
darth: so, there are conflicting views, as to whether you exist. does this bother-- I'll rephrase that--does this conflict as to your origin, or validity as a being, affect you at all?
god: people are entitled to their opinions. animals, too. carbon-based, life-forms are entitled....
darth: you're becoming bright-- woah, really blinding visage, suddenly. and I wear a helmet. jesus!
god: do you have a paper bag?
darth: to wear? wow-- I feel like I'm being incinerated--
god: sometimes if I, put a paper bag over my face, it helps promote the social exchanges...
darth- of course. you would wear the paper bag. I wear a helmet, I get you. nope, ain't got a paper bag. i have a dog-cone, though! would that work? It keeps dogs from biting themselves, after surgery. I'm sure you know that.
god: yes, it could help to re-direct the brilliance upward. sure. I'll try it.
darth: it looks so provocative, on you. like you're making a statement...about existence. you know. god in a dog-cone.
god: you should have seen me wearing a dunce-cap.
darth: I reckon you're always making a statement. when you're famous like you are. so, whether or not you tend to read other people's interviews, I did interview The Virgin Mary, a couple of months ago. will you talk to our listeners a bit, about her impregnation by you, as it is being treated an an edified date-rape, which supports an orthodoxy of date-rape culture?
god: dude, why are you up in my face about date-rape? i just put on a dog-cone for you. I'm showing up, here.
darth: the brilliance is abating some. thanks. Mary was not allowed to look at your face, the story goes. she was just told, by Gabriel, I guess, that she was carrying your child. does that seem equitable, to you?
god: I think your scope is narrow, if you're treating the annunciation issue as a gender issue. clearly, you're suggesting I'm a man--
darth: I don't know much about you, honestly. none of us do. how old you are, for example. whether you date-raped Mary, or not. these types pf questions float, in the air.
god: you want to know if I'm good, or bad. is that it?
darth: sure. and what you did to Mary. gotta know that.
god: Mary carried hope inside of her, because she was open to receiving it, and it took the form of Jesus. I was a part of that hope, in that I advocate for hope whenever possible.
darth: that sounds like such bullshit to me. did you have sex with her while she was sleeping, and then refuse to let her confront you, by hiding your face from her eyes? I'm asking you a direct question.
god: it wasn't sex.
darth: sex is what impregnates women...
god: I don't know who had sex with Mary.
god: I'm speaking the truth to you. I don't know. in a way, it doesn't matter.
darth: are you saying Mary's role was incidental?
god: Mary's role was delegated to her by those who saw in her a catalyst for change.
darth: do you mean that Mary was delegated her role by predators, with a political agenda?
god: if you like. yes. my influence didn't lie there. I walked with her down the path of light, once she was with child, and I walked with her son.
darth. you mean, like a step-dad...to Jesus?
god: well, a mentor. yeah.
darth: okay. so you're all good, with Mary.
god: well I wouldn't say that. I was kind of like a freak who showed up in her life, after she went through a hard time, and I'm not sure she really decided, to trust me, in the end. I guess to earn someone's trust one has to be trustworthy.
darth: are you trustworthy?
god: do you feel like you can trust me?
darth: what--to avert disaster? to stop the oil pipelines from fucking up our planet?
god: do you get the sense that I'm aiming in that direction?
darth: well, are you?
god: as much as you are.
darth: listen, just do the best you fucking can right now, will you? this planet is all we have.
god: okay. I'll do my best.
darth: we are out of time. will you say hello to Kurt Cobain for me?
god: if I can keep the dog-cone.www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zYwjhJuNAE
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All reviews by Greg Bem unless marked otherwise.
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